Tuesday, October 31, 2006

On a more serious note...

It was the summer before my sophmore year of college when Jill Behrman, another student at Indiana University went missing. For months following her disappearance, the university community gathered together in support of Jill's family and in hopes of finding Jill.

It would not be for another 3 years before Jill’s body would be discovered-and it would become clear that fowl play had been involved in her death. In the year’s since my graduation, I have followed this case and am now pleased to see that justice has been served.

I did not know Jill personally, but her disappearance and the subsequent criminal case following her death weighed heavily on my heart. My thoughts and prayers are will the family and friends of Jill Behrman.

Click here to read an article about the disappearance of Jill Behrman.
Click here to read about the conviction of John R. Myers II

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Shameless Plug

My wonderful friend Kash-Money Nelsen makes cards. They are well made, and fun to look at...please buy some.
CLICK HERE to visit her site!

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Kick ASS Halloween

Every year on October 31st, Americans of all ages, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and genders come together on one very common ground: Halloween. Yes Halloween, albeit a fake holiday that probably originated from some Pagan celebration involving animal sacrifice, has now become an day for people to dress up in costumes and run around outside. College girls use this as an excuse to dress sluttily without judgment and children (or Trick-or-Treaters) go door to door collecting way, Way, WAY more candy than their little bodies can handle.


Traditionally during the weeks immediately following Halloween, the parents of these young Trick-or-Treaters covertly SNEAK candy from their children’s stashes until all that remains are some Smarties Candies, a few partially-wrapped Rolos, and a discarded Circus Peanut. In fact, that guaranteed candy stash may be the only reason I wouldn’t mind having kids right now; well that, and the Barbie’s….forget I said that.

Anyway, after much, MUCH consideration, I have finally decided on my Halloween costume. Have you seen the movie Kill Bill 2? If not, you won’t get this (and you should go watch that movie); if you HAVE seen the movie, then you will understand me when I say I am going as Evil Nurse Elle Driver from the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Not only will this costume allow for the wearing of an eye patch, but also for the carrying of a very impressive, very intimidating plastic Samari sword (and some throwing stars for extra measure). Get excited!

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Update on Naughtiness

Coworker B has proven herself to be a very worthy foe in the battle against ridiculously-early holiday countdowns.

Less than 12 hours have passed since I made that very naughty, very subtle adjustment to her Christmas Countdown chalk board-and she has already switched the erroneous "63" back to the correct "61 Days Until Christmas."


It appears that I am going to have to be MUCH more creatively stealthy when dealing with Coworker B. No more fast movements or erratic gestures. The last thing I want to do is make her mad; because if she channeled the sunshine properly, I bet she could light my face on fire through those glasses of hers. No sir, sparkling personality is no defense against sun-conducting eye glasses.


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Naughty, naughty Westchester.

Last night, I officially secured my seat in hell when I secretly changed Coworker B’s Christmas Countdown from "62" to "63 days until Christmas."

I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and that I could dance and dance and dance.

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Hang in there!

While I am at it, I would just like to give a little shout out to good friend, Spanish Houlihan.

I love you girl and can’t wait to see you this Christmas!



Spanish and I stuck in an elevator.

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Monday! Monday! Monday!

Excerpt from my disasterous 2nd date with Guy Milwaukee:

Guy Milwaukee: So do you think there is “relationship material here"?

Little Miss Westchester: Well, it’s our second date-but I think you are nice and cute and I would like to see you again.

Guy Milwaukee: See, I have a lot of friends. I don’t need anymore friends. So, if you don’t see this going anywhere, then please tell me now.

Westchester: …..?

Guy Milwaukee: Well I guess that’s it then. You clearly view me as being too serious-and I had no intention of scaring you the way I did with this conversation. I guess we just don’t communicate well.

Westchester:……..?...........?

Guy Milwaukee: (Walking away) Goodnight then, and good luck.

What the HELL just happened?!?!?

Luckily, my second and last date with Guy were not the only thing I did this weekend. On Saturday I went to see The Departed with my mom-which was an AWESOME movie. If you haven’t heard of this movie yet, it stars Jack Nicholson as a Boston mob boss and Leonardo DiCaprio (swoon) and Matt Damon as two young men at odds. In typical Martin Scorsese fare, it is violent-but nothing you can’t handle. Go see it!

Next it was on to Moody St. Claire’s Halloween party! I went as a devil while Hope Valentine hesitantly went as a bunny. Hope, having never been one to get enthusiastic about costumes, was dragging her feet a little about getting into her bunny ears. Sometimes Hope needs a little encouragement, so I lovingly said, "Put those fucking ears on!".... I like to haze my friends. Needless to say, our costumes didn’t come any where near the level of excellence of some of the other party attendees.
Moody went as Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest, Security Steve went as a troubled meth addict in serious need of dental care, and my friend Hot Jamie’s boyfriend went as a guy with a screwdriver through his head. VERY realistic. When it was all said and done, Hope and I had a great time, and I was very glad to get some quality time in with Miss Moody.

On Sunday I woke up to some FABULOUS news from Minnesota cutie, Beaker Callahan. After over a year of dating, Beaker and her boyfriend Kyle are now engaged!!!!! HURRAY!



Finally, it was on to good pal Mickey Delaware’s house for some hot cider and pumpkin carving. That’s right, it was a pumpkin carving FIESTA. Ole!

What an interesting weekend.

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Friday, October 20, 2006

Hi to my Seven Loyal Readers!

Lately, the world of Little Miss Westchester has been quite busy, and fraught with change. So, in an effort to keep my 7 loyal readers in the loop (you still there guys?), here is an update on some of the more pressing issues I have been secretly ranting about over the past few months.

1. Angry Ear
While my ear no longer seems “angry;” little care I, now that I have received the ridiculously-overpriced hospital bill for my ear emergency. As you may recall, I scratched the inside of my ear a few weeks ago while conducting an ill-advised experiment to test just HOW much of my hand I could comfortably fit into my ear. Apparently, not much. And, when I went to the walk in clinic the next day-the doctor there looked in my ear for less than one minute before telling me that my ear was “too angry,” and that she could do absolutely nothing for me. She then sent me to her hospitals ear-nose-throat doctor who, she thought, would be able to help me. For that, she charged me $82. Eighty two dollars to tell me my ear was ANGRY and that she was having none of it. Trust me honey, my ear is not the only thing that is angry now.

2. Countdown to Christmas
According to Coworker B’s Christmas Countdown Chalk Board (that she has been maintaining since April), it is now only 65 days to Christmas. Ho….ho….hoooooo.

3. Need for Speed...ing Ticket.
I am sure we were all relieved when my friend’s lawyer husband was able to reduce my latest 6-point speeding ticket (which would have brought my infraction score up to a lose-your-license 12 points) to a 2-point speedometer infraction. I had to pay an extra $100 for this, but that was a small price to pay to keep my license. I was feeling good about the whole thing, until I got a letter in the mail yesterday “asking” me if I wanted to take a traffic safety course. As a point of reference, my mother didn’t have to take her traffic safety course for speeding until she was 36. Let the record show, I have her beat by 10 years.

4. Dating for Dummies
While I don’t often blog about the highs and lows of my dating life on this blog, I will say that my decision to ignore my dating scene may be less to do with the dates themselves and more to do with the fact that there really aren’t any. However, last week I had 2 dates, and tonight I am going on date number two with Guy Pearce look-a-like Guy Milwaukee. I had a great time last Monday with Guy, and I am really looking forward to spending some more time getting to know him. Stay tuned for updates next week.

5. Squirrels
I still hate them.

Have a great weekend everybody!

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Someone get me this book!!!


CLICK HERE to buy me Hospitality Under the Influence, by the very talented Amy Sedaris; and if not for me, buy it for you, because I hear it includes some kick ass cup cake recipes.

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Bean Town, USA

This weekend the Westchester family loaded into a 747 and journeyed to Boston to visit my brothers: Golden Boy, Johnny Money, and Weezer.

As soon as we arrived in Bean Town, I could feel it in the air that this visit would be one to remember…right down to the discarded condom wrapper and already-been-chewed gum I found under my hotel’s bed. But seriously, our hotel room looked like a crime scene.

On Friday night, my family ate a great dinner at one of the area’s best seafood restaurants and then it was on to a comedy club to catch Craig Ferguson (the current host of “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”) who was very funny and earned the approval of my mother despite his frequent use of the “F-bomb” and reference to "sexual intercourse." I give Craig’s comedy routine a rousing thumbs up, and yes, I would make out with him.

Then on Saturday, we met Weezer (now a proud freshman at Boston University) at the college book store, and helped him stock up on BU apparel and Starbucks coffee. I scored a very cozy pair of sweatpants out of the deal and plan to wear them every chance I get. Next it was on to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch, followed by a much-anticipated visit to the Body Worlds Exhibit at the Boston Museum of Science.

If you have not heard of Body World, it is a highly controversial, international exhibit whose purpose is to educate people about human anatomy and maybe give them a better understanding of effects their lifestyle choices have on their bodies. It is controversial, because it features the cadavers of deceased human beings-without their skin. I saw the lungs of a smoker and a coal miner. I saw the body of a woman who had been five months pregnant when she died, and the little baby frozen in her womb. I mean, it is nuts-but the thing is, the bodies have been preserved through this process called “plasticization,” and don’t look completely real. Anyway-if you are at all interested in human anatomy-this is a must see….but I would recommend eating lunch BEFORE you go, rather than after. Just a suggestion.

Next, my brothers and I visited some historical Boston sights (i.e. Paul Revere’s “One if by land, two if by sea” Church), before heading to Golden Boy’s apartment in Boston’s Italian North End. If you ever go to Boston, this area is another must-see. From the authentic Italian Bakeries and Butcher shops, to the little old men in lawn chairs on the corners-it is a true cultural goldmine. From the cobblestone streets to the gelato shops on every block, it was like being back in Italy-and THAT is something I can get behind.

Finally, my family and I ate dinner at this AMAZING Italian restaurant near my brother’s apartment called Bacco. I had the special, which was a dish filled with butternut squash ravioli, yellow raisins, diced mango, salmon, fresh shrimp, and a rich cream sauce. As you might imagine, it was like a party in my mouth-and everyone was invited.

On the plane ride home, I accidentally told my parent’s about my lingering debt from this summer’s Europe trip to which my mother (even the optimist) responded with: “You’re never gonna get out of THAT hole.”

Bless her heart.

Now I am back in the office, and wishing I was back in Boston. Sigh. I love my brothers.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Dear F. Early, Here's your F'n update!

I had a nice time on Monday. My date was smart, funny and looked a little bit like Guy Pearce if you squint your eyes. Tonight I have my second day of the week with, that’s right, someone entirely different.

For some reason, my dating pattern seems to go as follows: I will be very single for a period of time and then two guys at once will be interested. Luckily, Lance Friendly has moved to Omaha and can’t possibly meddle with these two dating scenarios-although I miss Lance and wish he would visit.

That’s about all I can say on the matter at this time, because date number one turned out to be cool and I haven’t had date number two yet. So there you go. There’s my update.

On an entirely unrelated note, I have recently developed an innate fear of squirrels. They are always around when I am walking to my car, and I am fearful that these seemingly-quiet little fuzzy-faces will get the wrong idea…and attack me.

One would think that at the age of 26, I would be able to get over this new neurosis and let reason be my guide. After all, squirrels have always been the animal most-likely to end up as road-kill; and if I timed it right, and had a good tee, I could probably kick a squirrel a good 20 feet farther than any soccer ball.

But Squirrels have pointy teeth, and I bet their bites would sting. Plus they can jump out at you really fast......so I would rather not mess with them. No sir, Squirrels are scary.


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Thursday, October 05, 2006

I am a dating machine.

Somehow, I have managed to get myself asked out on two dates next week, with two different guys.

This is the first time in a while that will be going on any date(*) at all, let along multiple dates, so I am looking forward to it…I mean them.

I would definitely recommend checking back next week for some exciting post-date analysis.

(*)With the exception, of course, of the accidental-date I went on the other week with an old cast mate from the show I was in earlier this year. You see, I thought we were just going to dinner as friends to catch up, until he started referring to our get together as his “best date ever” and asked me to marry him after I made, what I am assuming he considered, a particularly notable juke box selection. Ah the foibles of youth.

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Medical Update

Not only is my ear still incredibly angry; but now, it is also a little drunk...and beligerant.

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Angry Ear.

I have what the medical community is calling, an “Angry Ear.”

Well, maybe not the “medical community” per say, but the doctor I was assigned yesterday when I could no longer hear out of my right ear. I am assuming you would be hard-pressed to find the phrase “angry ear,” in any medical dictionary-but who am I to speculate.

After giving me a detailed tutorial on the harms of Q-Tips as well as a demonstration on how one could properly remove excess water from one’s ear with a tissue, he proceeded to examine my ear and hand down the aforementioned diagnosis.

Clutching my new prescriptions in my left hand and my tender ear with my right, I slowly shuffled out of the hospital; all the while wondering what I had ever done to make my ear so angry and where on earth my doctor had purchased that candy corn and hobgoblin tie.

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