Dear F. Early, Here's your F'n update!

I had a nice time on Monday. My date was smart, funny and looked a little bit like Guy Pearce if you squint your eyes. Tonight I have my second day of the week with, that’s right, someone entirely different.

For some reason, my dating pattern seems to go as follows: I will be very single for a period of time and then two guys at once will be interested. Luckily, Lance Friendly has moved to Omaha and can’t possibly meddle with these two dating scenarios-although I miss Lance and wish he would visit.

That’s about all I can say on the matter at this time, because date number one turned out to be cool and I haven’t had date number two yet. So there you go. There’s my update.

On an entirely unrelated note, I have recently developed an innate fear of squirrels. They are always around when I am walking to my car, and I am fearful that these seemingly-quiet little fuzzy-faces will get the wrong idea…and attack me.

One would think that at the age of 26, I would be able to get over this new neurosis and let reason be my guide. After all, squirrels have always been the animal most-likely to end up as road-kill; and if I timed it right, and had a good tee, I could probably kick a squirrel a good 20 feet farther than any soccer ball.

But Squirrels have pointy teeth, and I bet their bites would sting. Plus they can jump out at you really fast......so I would rather not mess with them. No sir, Squirrels are scary.