Monday! Monday! Monday!

Excerpt from my disasterous 2nd date with Guy Milwaukee:

Guy Milwaukee: So do you think there is “relationship material here"?

Little Miss Westchester: Well, it’s our second date-but I think you are nice and cute and I would like to see you again.

Guy Milwaukee: See, I have a lot of friends. I don’t need anymore friends. So, if you don’t see this going anywhere, then please tell me now.

Westchester: …..?

Guy Milwaukee: Well I guess that’s it then. You clearly view me as being too serious-and I had no intention of scaring you the way I did with this conversation. I guess we just don’t communicate well.

Westchester:……..?...........?

Guy Milwaukee: (Walking away) Goodnight then, and good luck.

What the HELL just happened?!?!?

Luckily, my second and last date with Guy were not the only thing I did this weekend. On Saturday I went to see The Departed with my mom-which was an AWESOME movie. If you haven’t heard of this movie yet, it stars Jack Nicholson as a Boston mob boss and Leonardo DiCaprio (swoon) and Matt Damon as two young men at odds. In typical Martin Scorsese fare, it is violent-but nothing you can’t handle. Go see it!

Next it was on to Moody St. Claire’s Halloween party! I went as a devil while Hope Valentine hesitantly went as a bunny. Hope, having never been one to get enthusiastic about costumes, was dragging her feet a little about getting into her bunny ears. Sometimes Hope needs a little encouragement, so I lovingly said, "Put those fucking ears on!".... I like to haze my friends. Needless to say, our costumes didn’t come any where near the level of excellence of some of the other party attendees.

Moody went as Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest, Security Steve went as a troubled meth addict in serious need of dental care, and my friend Hot Jamie’s boyfriend went as a guy with a screwdriver through his head. VERY realistic. When it was all said and done, Hope and I had a great time, and I was very glad to get some quality time in with Miss Moody.

On Sunday I woke up to some FABULOUS news from Minnesota cutie, Beaker Callahan. After over a year of dating, Beaker and her boyfriend Kyle are now engaged!!!!! HURRAY!

Finally, it was on to good pal Mickey Delaware’s house for some hot cider and pumpkin carving. That’s right, it was a pumpkin carving FIESTA. Ole!

What an interesting weekend.

Hi to my Seven Loyal Readers!

Lately, the world of Little Miss Westchester has been quite busy, and fraught with change. So, in an effort to keep my 7 loyal readers in the loop (you still there guys?), here is an update on some of the more pressing issues I have been secretly ranting about over the past few months.

1. Angry Ear
While my ear no longer seems “angry;” little care I, now that I have received the ridiculously-overpriced hospital bill for my ear emergency. As you may recall, I scratched the inside of my ear a few weeks ago while conducting an ill-advised experiment to test just HOW much of my hand I could comfortably fit into my ear. Apparently, not much. And, when I went to the walk in clinic the next day-the doctor there looked in my ear for less than one minute before telling me that my ear was “too angry,” and that she could do absolutely nothing for me. She then sent me to her hospitals ear-nose-throat doctor who, she thought, would be able to help me. For that, she charged me $82. Eighty two dollars to tell me my ear was ANGRY and that she was having none of it. Trust me honey, my ear is not the only thing that is angry now.

2. Countdown to Christmas
According to Coworker B’s Christmas Countdown Chalk Board (that she has been maintaining since April), it is now only 65 days to Christmas. Ho….ho….hoooooo.

3. Need for Speed...ing Ticket.
I am sure we were all relieved when my friend’s lawyer husband was able to reduce my latest 6-point speeding ticket (which would have brought my infraction score up to a lose-your-license 12 points) to a 2-point speedometer infraction. I had to pay an extra $100 for this, but that was a small price to pay to keep my license. I was feeling good about the whole thing, until I got a letter in the mail yesterday “asking” me if I wanted to take a traffic safety course. As a point of reference, my mother didn’t have to take her traffic safety course for speeding until she was 36. Let the record show, I have her beat by 10 years.

4. Dating for Dummies
While I don’t often blog about the highs and lows of my dating life on this blog, I will say that my decision to ignore my dating scene may be less to do with the dates themselves and more to do with the fact that there really aren’t any. However, last week I had 2 dates, and tonight I am going on date number two with Guy Pearce look-a-like Guy Milwaukee. I had a great time last Monday with Guy, and I am really looking forward to spending some more time getting to know him. Stay tuned for updates next week.

5. Squirrels
I still hate them.

Have a great weekend everybody!

I am a dating machine.

Somehow, I have managed to get myself asked out on two dates next week, with two different guys.

This is the first time in a while that will be going on any date(*) at all, let along multiple dates, so I am looking forward to it…I mean them.

I would definitely recommend checking back next week for some exciting post-date analysis.

(*)With the exception, of course, of the accidental-date I went on the other week with an old cast mate from the show I was in earlier this year. You see, I thought we were just going to dinner as friends to catch up, until he started referring to our get together as his “best date ever” and asked me to marry him after I made, what I am assuming he considered, a particularly notable juke box selection. Ah the foibles of youth.

Matchmaker, make me a match!

Let me start by saying that I am not, nor have I ever been a professional match maker; but, let me also say, that’s not for lack of trying.

As you have probably deduced by now, I have A LOT of friends. And it’s not just because I have large breasts and am good looking, but also because I’m a loyal friend and always work hard to make my friends happy. And I think it goes without saying, that nothing makes people happier than sex. Lots of sex….or so I’ve been told.

That being said, there have been a few times in the past where, in attempts to make my single friends happy, I have tried to play matchmaker. Currently I am at a lowly 0 for 5 success rate; however, I bravely press on in hopes that someday, somehow, one of my match attempts will work out-and someone will name their first kid after me.

ANYWAY, the reason I am even bringing this up is because I am on the scent of another potential couple. Here’s the scoop:

Bashful Bill is this sweet/responsible/all-American guy on my volleyball team who is looking for love, but doesn’t always have the courageous wherewithal to approach a girl. He comes from a good family, is tons of fun, and I think is a total catch for a nice girl who won’t take him for granted.

Curly Sue is a new friend from work who is also really nice, has adorable curly hair, plays in a volleyball league, loves Bon Jovi, and is just tons of fun to be around. P.S., Curly is also looking for love.

So at lunch the other day as I was talking to Curly about singleness, it occurred to me that perhaps she and Bill might hit it off. I got to talking about what an awesome guy Bill is, and strongly urged Curly to come to dinner with my volleyball team so that she could meet him. But as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I IMMEDIATELY regretted my mistake. Every matchmaker worth their SALT knows it is better NOT to tell people when you are trying to set them up. WHY? Because then they get all nervous and sweaty when they meet that other person-and it kind of jinxes things.

All day I fretted over the meeting. Would Curly find Bill attractive; and if not, would she be mad at me for thinking he would be her type? Would Bill let his personality shine through-or behave slightly awkwardly with a new girl in the mix? If Curly did like Bill, would he recognize her signals and ask her out? If they went on a date, would things go well? Would they want to go out again? Would Curly call Bill back?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?

Well as it turned out, none of that even mattered because Bill didn’t even make it to dinner. Something about house painting.

I guess the world will have to wait and see if a love connection is in the stars for Bashful Bill and Curly Sue; but in the meantime, I will carefully bide my time. Watching. Waiting. Watching some more.