Matchmaker, make me a match!

Let me start by saying that I am not, nor have I ever been a professional match maker; but, let me also say, that’s not for lack of trying.

As you have probably deduced by now, I have A LOT of friends. And it’s not just because I have large breasts and am good looking, but also because I’m a loyal friend and always work hard to make my friends happy. And I think it goes without saying, that nothing makes people happier than sex. Lots of sex….or so I’ve been told.

That being said, there have been a few times in the past where, in attempts to make my single friends happy, I have tried to play matchmaker. Currently I am at a lowly 0 for 5 success rate; however, I bravely press on in hopes that someday, somehow, one of my match attempts will work out-and someone will name their first kid after me.

ANYWAY, the reason I am even bringing this up is because I am on the scent of another potential couple. Here’s the scoop:

Bashful Bill is this sweet/responsible/all-American guy on my volleyball team who is looking for love, but doesn’t always have the courageous wherewithal to approach a girl. He comes from a good family, is tons of fun, and I think is a total catch for a nice girl who won’t take him for granted.

Curly Sue is a new friend from work who is also really nice, has adorable curly hair, plays in a volleyball league, loves Bon Jovi, and is just tons of fun to be around. P.S., Curly is also looking for love.

So at lunch the other day as I was talking to Curly about singleness, it occurred to me that perhaps she and Bill might hit it off. I got to talking about what an awesome guy Bill is, and strongly urged Curly to come to dinner with my volleyball team so that she could meet him. But as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I IMMEDIATELY regretted my mistake. Every matchmaker worth their SALT knows it is better NOT to tell people when you are trying to set them up. WHY? Because then they get all nervous and sweaty when they meet that other person-and it kind of jinxes things.

All day I fretted over the meeting. Would Curly find Bill attractive; and if not, would she be mad at me for thinking he would be her type? Would Bill let his personality shine through-or behave slightly awkwardly with a new girl in the mix? If Curly did like Bill, would he recognize her signals and ask her out? If they went on a date, would things go well? Would they want to go out again? Would Curly call Bill back?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?

Well as it turned out, none of that even mattered because Bill didn’t even make it to dinner. Something about house painting.

I guess the world will have to wait and see if a love connection is in the stars for Bashful Bill and Curly Sue; but in the meantime, I will carefully bide my time. Watching. Waiting. Watching some more.