I Heart my Dermatologist.

My dermatologist is hot. This is a good thing because it ads a small ray of light to an otherwise depressing doctor’s appointment. On the other hand, a hot dermatologist is bad because it makes me want to avoid the full-body mole check at all costs; cause let me tell you, NOTHING can kill the possibility for romance faster than a full body mole check.

The Best of David Caruso

Just thinking about David Caruso sends chills down my Midwestern spine...oh wait, I just left the window open.

But seriously folks, have you ever watched an episode of CSI: Miami? In life, there are so few certainties. There's no guarantee that you'll fall in love, or that you'll ever get that dream job or dream home. Really the only guarantee is that there are no guarantees. Which is why, in times like these, I find it comforting to note that one thing you CAN always count on is an entirely inappropriate one liner from fictional CSI Lieutenant Horatio Caine while investigating any/all gruesome, yet fictional-Miami crime scenes.


So if you are in the mood to laugh right now, or if you are like my mom and love David Caruso, CLICK HERE to experience seven Minutes and fifteen mind-blowing seconds of The Best of David Caruso One Liners.

For my ladies...

Just stumbled upon THIS POSTING from the Charming but Single blog.

While I have never read Charming's blog before-and only found this posting because I would rather surf the net than work....I think it perfectly sums up my life right now.

Check it out, maybe you will find yourself in there somewhere as well.

Living by the law.

I am a law-abiding citizen.

I always look both ways before crossing the road; I have never had a cavity nor a detention/arrest; I vote at every election; I don’t kick babies (unless they REALLY have it coming); and, I always submit my taxes on time (correction: my dad always submits my taxes on time).

Indeed, by all accounts I live by the rules. Well that was, of course, until Coworker B came to Department X. Oh Coworker B with her beady eyes and her big round glasses! It is almost as though she can see right into my head and read my thoughts. Then there is her insistence in maintaining a year-round Christmas countdown, and her cubicle filled with strange nicknacks and colorful baubles-truly she is a character to be studied. Someday I plan to write a poem about her…it will be glorious. In the meantime however, I have been biding my time by consistently altering the Christmas countdown and more importantly, by rearranging her nicknacks after she leaves work for the day.

Maybe I am a little evil, but she has a picture cube on her desk with a portrait of Siegfried and Roy on one of the sides! It looks like a Las Vegas gift shop EXPLODED on her desk.

312 Days until Christmas...

...that can't be right!

A-HA! According to "Santa's Official Countdown to Christmas," there are, in fact:

308 Days; 14 Hours; and 27 Minutes until Christmas.

What is Coworker B trying to pull here anyway!?

But maybe I am just trying to distract you from the fact that I have been a VERY lazy blogger lately. It is not that there are not things going down in Westchesterville-it's just I don't have the energy to write about them.

However, I do not want to alienate the 7 readers I have left (bless your hearts), so here is a little recap of how my life has been unfolding these past few days.

This weekend I attended three creative performances: a play, the symphony AND the ballet. It was a very ARTISTIC weekend! And while I do not want to point fingers or name names, I will say that one of the performances was completely awesome, one was very good, and one drove me to the drink. I will leave it up to you to guess which one was which.

In other news, I am still wary of squirrels, the dark, corners, sharp objects and pencil sharpeners.

Sigh. I should start getting ready for today’s meetings.

Happy Valentine's Day!

From all of us at Super Secret Rantings (cough, me and my mom, cough) to all of you-have a VERY happy Valentine's Day!

A little something for Moody St. Clair

Last night at my parent's house.....

Little Miss Westchester: (Upon catching my dad secretly watching "Grease: You're the One that I Want" on T.V.***) Daaaad? Are you watching, "You're the One that I Want".....?

Dad: .....there's nothing else on.....

Little Miss Westchester: Dad, seriously. "There's nothing on.".... You have over 300 channels on this T.V.!

***This situation calls to mind a similar instance several years ago when I caught my dad watching Lifetime: Television for Women.

Super Bowl Reflections

This past Sunday, I joined Americans everywhere to watch the annual Super Bowl game.

I imagine the pre-game anticipation was great for Bears/Colts/gambling addicts alike; however, having never been much of a fan of watching sports on TV, I put my pre-game energy towards other things. Bigger issues. Namely: brain storming what I was going to bring to the Super Bowl party.

Now I don’t know about you people, but whenever I am invited to a party, I spend the weeks leading up to the event agonizing about what to bring. Should I take the easy way out and pick up something at the store OR should I make that extra effort and bring something home made? Both options are appreciated by the host-however, when successful, only one of the two truly works to both impress and provoke enthusiastic praise from the other party attendees. And, being a slave to my need for constant positive reinforcement, it should come as no surprise to you that I ultimately opted to make something.

For this party, after placating the hostess with a breezy promise to bring my specialty, “Baked Lays”(a clever decoy), I ultimately decided to REALLY show everyone else up with an ever-popular “Fruit Pizza.” Surprisingly easy to make, a fruit pizza is a delicious dessert that uses a giant sugar cookie as the crust, cream cheese as the sauce and various colorful fruits as the toppings. Bragging rights with the fruit pizza are considerable-as very few people think they could make such a visually appealing concoction. They are probably wrong about that…but who am I to correct them?

As the other guests slowly arrived, I made sure to usher each one past the dessert table-silently waiting for the inevitable query, “What is that, a fruit pizza? It looks DELICIOUS! WHO made that?”

“Oh that,” I would say with a coy smile, “I made that.”

(INSERT Inevitable fawning and visible awe here)

All in all, the party was a complete blast, although I didn’t really watch the game-save a few purposeful glances at the TV between trips to the bar, respectful conversations and persistent attepmts to haze the other guests into sampling/looking at my fruit pizza.

Congratulations to any Colts fans out there; and sincere condolences to my Bear’s fans. Peppermint Patty/Spanish Houlihan, I am talking to you.

CLICK HERE to get your very own Fruit Pizza recipe. Westchester tested and approved.

Its been a while.

It has been a while since I blogged here. For the few readers who care, I am sorry.

For everyone else, I didn't like you anyway....just kidding, I DO like you, please love me!

Not much has been going on in my Super Secret World these days, with a few notable exceptions:

-The play I was in received critical acclaim from several community newspapers and my mother.

-Coworker B has bravely fostered on with her now, year-round Christmas countdown-unfettered by that seizure she had in her cubicle a few weeks back that resulted in an ambulance-escorted trip to the emergency room.

-I have made several new friends as a result of my play-one of which plays with her hands….PROFESSIONALLY.

-My recreational volleyball team has taken our efforts indoors, as it is now to cold outside to function. It should come as no surprise to you that I also kick ass at sports. All sports, with NO exceptions.***

-Finally, after nearly 10 years spent sitting on a Harry Potter-high horse, I finally began reading the popular series about a month ago, and have not stopped. I am now on the fourth book, and am admittedly growing a bit weary of little Harry and his gangly friends; however, I will be damned if I am not caught up to the series before the final book comes out this July. Literary victory will be mine!!!!

In other news, I am a big geek. (see previous statement: “Literary victory will be mine!!!!”)

***Sports that I am actually quite bad at: Basketball, golf, Luge, any type of skiing beyond a basic snowplow, checkers, football, Frisbee Golf, emotional tennis, tennis, croquette, rugby, sports played on horses, synchronized swimming, the butterfly stroke, running, gymnastics, wrestling, arm wrestling, thumb wars, darts, pool, anything played in a bar, bowling and pinball.