Weekend Smackdown and/or plea for readers.

I have been in a creative slump.

I am not sure what exactly contributed to said slump, but I would be willing to guess it had a little something to do with Company X. Coworker X, on the other hand, is just fine. In fact, just the other day, we had an animated talk debating which of us was the better athlete; and, like so many of our chats, this one ended with a threat from me having a little something to do with a shiv and Coworker X in a dark alleyway.

Moving on, I had a great weekend. On Friday, I met some girlfriends at The Hi Hat for cocktails and people watching (cough, judging). The next day, I awoke early to get ready to attend a bridal shower for good friend, Beaker Callahan. This September, I will be proudly standing behind Beaker as the maid of honor in her wedding, and this is the only shower (aside from her bachelorette party) that I will be able to attend. During the course of the shower, I dazzled the crowd with performances of my entire magic trick repertoire. The more impressive of my two tricks involves the disappearance of a sugar packet, followed by its immediate reappearance in someone’s bra. This usually goes over well with adults, but perhaps should have been altered for the sake of my singular audience member- Beaker’s six year old niece.

Saturday night I met up with Petal Personality, Keanu Personality, Darling Peterson, Wakefield and Franklin Serious for a birthday celebration for Wakefield. I brought Wakefield a birthday card that prominently featured a little boy picking his nose with a note inside explaining that I had picked the card myself.....perhaps this joke really is only funny to me.

At around 3AM, I traveled the road less taken (acting responsibly after a long night of drinking) and declined invites for a late night snack at Ma Ficher’s so I could catch some much needed shut eye before hitting Sunday morning’s 11AM boating trip that I had committed to weeks before.

No sooner was I home, than I made an executive decision to take a brief nap on my couch in order to muster up the much-needed energy I would need to cross the last 10 feet of my apartment into my bedroom.

The next morning, I awoke to discover that my couch is not as comfortable as I had once thought and that I can nap, afterall, but only after I have been subdued by a heavy combination of Miller Lite,a big glass of Vodka and Cranberry juice, and exactly three Ego Waffles.

As you might expect, Sunday came fast for this little blogger, and I was slightly less than thrilled at the prospect of boating on the Milwaukee River. But, I hosed myself down, ate a few rice cakes/chugged a can of Diet Coke and headed off to the marina. After 5 hours on the river-two things are now clear to me.

1. Farmer’s Tans can affect anyone at any time-even the pale, closeted bloggers with a penchant for shiny objects and nothing short of SPF 55.

2. The Milwaukee River smells a little bit like fish and regret.

Well, now that I have broken that writer’s rut-o-mine, perhaps you can look forward to some more updates from your’s truly; or at the very least, some carefully-executed Microsoft Paint art!!!!