Open mouth, extract foot.

Every time I see my crush du jour, Coworker X, I feel lightheaded, overcome with dizziness, and I immediately panic.

Which is why, for some reason, I have been bullying X every chance I get. Why oh why do I do this, (you might be wondering). The answer to that is as simple as a summer day: because I am socially awkward people!

Take for example, today's disastrous e-mail exchange:

ME: You know what would be great? If you would run to Starbucks and get me a cup of coffee.

HIM: Sure, I’m all over that, hold your breath while I go! It would make for a more pleasant experience for me!

ME: You’re no fun. :(

HIM: I’m so fun, and you just don’t know it.

ME: Oh yes. That must be why you spent your Friday night at home, under a blanket, alone……

ME: You're pouting now, aren't you?

Not surprisingly, those last little barbs have not garnered a response; although I do believe I just heard the distinct sound of an sniffling and/or whimpering coming from his cubi-cell...so I guess I got my answer there. Needless to say, I don't see X running out to get me coffee any time soon.

Awkward note above courtesy of FOUND Magazine. If you have never visited the site, the time is NOW.