A rose by any other name...

Recently, a man who is also named “Westchester” was hired at my company.

Naturally I resent him for this and bear a considerable amount of ill-will towards his persons.

I feel I am justified in this stance for several reasons:

1. He works in the row next to me, and whenever his friends say his name- I think they are talking to me, so I perk up. Then when I realize the truth, I immediately feel as though they are excluding me from their fun. Fact: NO one excludes Westchester from fun….or puts her in a corner with Jerry Orbach.

2. Since boy Westchester’s hire, I am ALWAYS getting e-mails and calls that are meant for him. That is annoying, and serves as a constant reminder that I am not getting calls or e-mails.

3. He spells his name “Weeschester,” and this slight difference has caused people to call into question the way I spell my name. IN-excusable….I have enough problems with spelling as it is.

4. I am afraid people will sit around discussing which Westchester they prefer. Fact: This is not a contest I am prepared to lose.

5. Fact: He is smaller than me.

6. Fact: He looks like a squirrel.

Due to the solid case I have made here, I bet you are wondering if I plan to fight this other “Weeschester,” this imposter to my namesake; and the answer, of course, is yes. One day when boy Weeschester least expects it, I will jump him behind the dumpsters and intimidate him with my extensive vocabulary and darting glances; and THAT, my friends, will be the END of boy Weeschester.