Mystic Pizza Face

I have a zit on my lip the size of a Pez candy. It looks like a Herpe, for God’s sake. A herpe!

Aren’t zits supposed to be one of the many annoyances you outgrow at 20? Plus, unlike the tame middle school taunts of yore, adults are always FAR more creative with their prognoses for acne these days. I, for example, usually assume the person has an STD.

That being said, if anyone asks, I plan to take the high ground with this one and say I got punched in the face.

“NO this is not a zit,” I’ll say, “clearly it’s the place where my attacker’s ring broke the skin.”