What would Mrs.Garrett do?

Tomorrow is my birthday, I am turning 26.

This is a pretty exciting milestone as far as I can tell-even though 30 now looms before me like a dull headache or a unwanted pregnancy….ok maybe not like an unwanted pregnancy-but a headache for sure!

People usually say that with age comes wisdom…well at least that is what you would hope for; and while I know that in all likelihood I am probably a lot smarter now than I was in my teens, I am well aware of the fact that the things I don’t know about are far exceeded by the subjects I have mastered (i.e. beer bong construction and lip gloss application). I also know that there are plenty of mistakes that I am going to make down the road-I just pray to God that none of them involve poorly-crafted spandex or an ill-advised stint in a traveling circus.

I think the key in all of this is learning from your mistakes and applying those lessons into future challenges. Here are some life lessons I have picked up over the past 26 years. Of course I had to learn every one of these lessons the hard way-so I hope by talking about them, I will help you avert a personal catastrophe or two.

Lesson 1: Even though it will seem like a good idea at the time, do not, under any circumstances kick your pre-school teacher in the shin. In general, other adults will not take your side nor will they appreciate your general impertinence towards their authority.

Lesson 2: When on a road trip, always remember to check the gas gauge often. Because believe me, the one time you forget you will probably be in the middle of an Indiana cornfield with nothing but your thoughts and a full bladder to keep you company.

Lesson 3: No matter how old you are, or how nice you try to be, there will always be bullies out there trying to get you down. So ignore those people-because karma is a bitch-and they will get there’s. Fuck yeah!

Lesson 4: Nerds are cool, be nice to them; and in ten years when those same nerds are making twice your salary and know the hiring manager maybe they will remember you and help you out.

Lesson 5: “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” can sometimes be the hardest things to say-but in the end, they are infinitely worth it.

Lesson 6: No one's perfect (you included), so try your best to give people the benefit of the doubt.