Crush: more than just a delicious soda.

Speaking as an expert on the subject of the “unrequited crush,” I have noticed a pattern in my love life as of late, and I thought I would share it with you, my seven loyal readers.

Specifically, there seems to come a time during the natural progression of every one of my secret crushes when I come to the realization that the object of my affections is just “not that into me”; and, if I am lucky (and I am), this realization seems to always dawn on me around the major holidays or on my birthday.

Why is it I wonder, that my ability to objectively reason with myself is never as succinct as the times when there is a holiday approaching? Or that even the slightest promise of presents or merriment in the air can suddenly send a shock wave through my brain that is usually accompanied by a small metaphorical note reading, “It is time to move on.”

Anyway- I guess I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else.