Reunion

This weekend a group of my collegiate sorority sisters ( Peppermint Patty, Spanish Houlihan, Jazzy A, and Fucking Early-to name a few) and I high-tailed it out to the Wisconsin Dells for some “rest and relaxation” (which is really just code for heavy drinking coupled with kick-ass water slides).

After the obligatory naked pillow fights (JUST KIDDING, only Fucking Early was naked) we slapped on our swim suits and went to the pool. That night we headed to a bar called “Nig’s” and later Monk’s where we would later learn that in the Dells, cab service is a bit less than punctual (in other words, you may very well wait two plus hours before getting a ride).

Saturday we woke up, ate breakfast, and headed to the water slides. One slide in particular (aptly entitled “The Hurricane”) was completely terrifying, so much so, that when all of my friends wanted to go on it for a second time, I opted to hang back by the pool and pout.

(Picture of "The Hurricane")

Later, we went down a slide which mimicked the effects of riding down a toilet bowl. Being the tightly wound 25-year-old that I am, I made Peppermint Patty, Jazzy A and a little girl go first. After each disappeared into the opening of the slide, I closely observed the small television screens above that showed the lifeguards when they could send their next rider and proved to me that everyone had survived.

It was only then that I finally agreed to get into my riding tube.

Before I would allow the 16-year-old lifeguard working the ride to send my down the slide, I carefully grilled her about what I could expect to encounter. She remarked that she hadn’t been down the slide since she was a VERY little girl, but that she remembered it hadn’t been as bad as “The Hurricane.”

Then, after making her promise not to send me down backwards, I allowed her to push me down the slide….and, not to blow the climax of this story, but OBVIOUSLY I survived.

After returning from the water parks the girls grilled up a delicious dinner while I supervised the vegetables. Following the wonderful meal, we got dressed, and headed to Ho-Chunk Casino for some gambling action. Before I go on, please don’t get me wrong, I think Wisconsin is a beautiful state and its people are some of the nicest in the world. That being said, never in my LIFE have I seen so many mullets per square footage. I know as well as the next person (apparently with the exception of the people who wear mullets) about the many websites and television gags that completely poke fun at the hairstyle, but nothing I have seen could have prepared me for what we encountered as we walked through that casino floor. You would think we walked into the annual Mullet Convention- and that was just in the parking lot.

Be that as it may, this was only the second time I have ever been in a casino and I somehow managed to win $7.70 on one of the machines-which is not half bad considering I had no idea what I was doing and just kind of inserted money and pressed the buttons that looked the prettiest.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I can’t wait to do it again.