Vending conversation.

Every morning, long before I arrive at the office, a portly gentleman (who, for the purpose of this posterity, we will call “Bob,”) arrives at my company to stock every one of our many vending machines; and, every day as I roll in (anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes late), he is there stocking the vending machines in my lunchroom.

A friendly enough fellow, Bob is always smiling or humming-always eager to chat with anyone he might see. As a result, I immediately feel awkward and uncomfortable whenever I am in the same room as him.

If there are other people in the lunchroom when I arrive, I simply keep my head down, throw my lunch bag into the community fridge, and then run for the door; however, if it is just the two of us-a brief exchange will inevitably ensue. Unlike normal people who might welcome a friendly conversation with a relative stranger, I seem to tense up with fear. Accordingly, the content of our conversations is ALWAYS exactly the same.

Monday through Thursday our conversations proceeds as follows:

Me: GOOD morning.

Bob: Hi! How are you!

Me: Greeeat. But then, it’s still early!

Bob & Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

On Fridays, however, the conversation goes like this:

Bob: Well hello there!

Me: GOOD morning.

Bob: How’s it going!

Me: Greeat, thank God it’s Friday!

Bob: You can SAY that again.

Bob & Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Today is Wednesday. Only two more days to go.