Daisy Don'ts

Earlier today I received an e-mail from one of the higher-ups. The content of which was essentially a reminder of the company’s dress code, and a note that employees are not allowed to wear sleeveless tops.

Anyway, no sooner had I read that little gem that another- even LESS welcomed e-mail arrived as well. Since I immediately deleted it, I will have to recite the contents from memory. However, before I begin, I would like to paint a picture of the sender: At around 5’4”, “Coworker S” probably weighs around 250, has bulging red eyes, wears tight man clothes, sports a botched buzz cut, and to top it all off, has never been very nice to me. Mainly she just glares when I pass her cubicle, or excludes me from e-mails regarding departmental pot lucks. As a result, I have always just avoided her-because frankly, she scares me.

Despite her behavior towards me, I do think that she views herself as something of a department clown, and is always making (quote) jokes (unquote) during department meetings and at company parties. As a result, her e-mail today didn’t shock me that much, although it did made me vomit a little in my mouth.

Read on to experience a best-guess recreation of the infamous e-mails:

_____________________________________________________________
From: Coworker S
Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:53 AM
To: Entire Department
Subject: RE: Dress Code-Sleeveless

“There goes my halter top and daisy dukes… hahaha – that is funny by itself!”
_____________________________________________________________
From: Supervisor
Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:52 AM
To: Entire Department
Subject: Dress Code - SleevelessImportance: High

Team –

I know it’s hot outside, but company policy does not allow us to wear sleeveless shirts in the office without a jacket or sweater over the top of your shirt. Please keep that in mind and make sure that your sleeves are covered at all times when you are in the building.

Thanks!!
___________________________________________________________________


No Coworker S, that’s not funny, and please don’t contact me again.