Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Happy birthday Hope Valentine!

Today is good friend Hope Valentine's birthday.

This means only 22-some birthdays separate Hope and me from that fateful first play date we shared in kindergarten where a tiff ensued after I told her I hated her favorite gold lame dress up shoes.

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Mothers and Daughters

Mom: So what are you doing this weekend?

Westchester: Well on Saturday Mr. Mister's friends are having a Gangsta party, so on Friday night we are going to a Good Will to try and find him something to wear for that.

Mom: Well I have that prisoner costume in the basement if you want to use it....

Westchester: No Mom, not gangst-ER. Gangst-A.

Mom:...........?

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Worst Case Scenario: Departmental Meetings

Today Department X gathered for our quarterly update meetings.

The perfect blending of power point presentations, some VERY long speeches, and the occasional sprinkling of bland corporate humor, Department X update meetings are, in my opinion, the natural solution to insomnia!

As a general rule, these meetings are met with overwhelming disdain from all but a few of the department’s veteran overachievers. I have always fallen into that first category, hating the meetings just a little less than Squirrels, but perhaps a little more than Coworker E.

Also, my plan to arrive late to the meeting (in a bid to miss whatever business that I could) backfired, resulting in a guaranteed seat in the front row. Luckily, Peaches Wilson was slightly MORE late to the meeting-earning herself a significantly-worse spot between my seat and the slide projector.

When it was all said and done, the meeting lasted an hour and a half.

AN HOUR AND A HALF!

Admittedly, the first 10 minutes weren’t so bad. However, after spending 30 mind-numbing minutes learning about corporate opportunities abroad, my mind checked out completely and I spent the remaining 60 minutes trying to devise a clever way to sleep with my eyes open. For all of my efforts, not only did I NOT master the sleep-while-appearing-awake-look, but instead developed a slightly lazy eye and a puddle of drool on the front of my shirt.

At one point, Peaches Wilson passed me a note that read: “Yawn.”

Not to be outdone, I quickly scribbled out my own perspective on the happenings, a note that simply said: "I am dying inside."

To that, she solemnly nodded and silently pointed to the drool stain on my shirt.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

In remembrance of those we lost.


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Going to the chapel.

Beaker Callahan is getting married next week.

And while, in reality, this wedding will make her Mrs. Beaker Wermerskirchen, I think in the spirit of brevity (and my own personal sanity), we will leave her name as Callahan on this blog.

During next week's much-anticipated nuptials (the wedding of the season, as far as I am concerned), I will be standing in as Beaker's Maid of Honor-a job that requires little knowledge of hand to hand combat, but has everything to do with making sure the bride has an (as close as humanly possible) worry-free experience.

As this is my second time in the role, I believe that I am prepared for whatever challenges may come my way....save perhaps a squirrel infestation in the ball room, in which case, Beaker-you are on your own!

However this weekend, I will be staying close to home to help my new boyfriend-that's right, my boyfriend-celebrate his birthday. I started dating Mr. Mister a little over 2 months ago-and am really enjoying the whole thing. Although, having been mostly-single for the better part of three years, it is an odd thing not having to worry about being the only single member in attendance of an otherwise couple's night out, or desperately having to scrounge up a plus one-for any weddings or couple-centric events that might come my way.

I haven't told Mr. Mister about Super Secret Rantings; however, I hope that when I do, he can accept my many quirks, including the fact that I have numerous fears, many of which are fictional or could fit comfortably inside of a lunch box.

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Monday, September 03, 2007

MUCH Needed Update Post

Hi all! So sorry for the REdiculous lack of posting.

First Company X was cracking down on Internet use.

Next I started having writer's block.

Then I went on vacation for 2 weeks!

And now.....well, let's just say I am going to give it my all to get back in the game!

What prompted this return to Internet "journalism," you might be wondering? Well the answer to that can be summed up very easily.....I saw a naked guy walking down a busy street in downtown Milwaukee the other night-and thought you should know!

For a long time, I thought I was the only one who saw the slowly meandering marauder, however, no sooner had he made his way within visible distance of one of the bustling corner bars that I heard a woman's scream. At that point, the man looked confused, turned on his heels, and continued his lazy evening walk elsewhere.

What happened to the naked guy, one can only guess. However, I hope he is ok. It takes balls to walk down a busy city street, naked-and while, I am fairly certain he was seriously f'ed up-I have to hand it to that guy!

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