The 'BU

I somehow stumbled apon this site when I was looking for examples of corporate blogs...

Basically, Channel101.com showcases comedy shorts developed by people like Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg and stars everyone from Jack Black to Sarah Silverman. My current favorite is "The 'Bu", a very funny parody of The O.C.. (Start from the beginning and work your way through the series.)

If you like laughing untill you cry, or just want to cry-you best be getting on that shit!

Where are they now?

In his extensive down time, MC Hammer has started a blog. Check it out....

Good joke gone bad

In life, I think most people would agree that “sense of humor” is a rare and desirable asset. Let’s face it, not everyone is funny, and when you meet someone who really makes you laugh, you can’t help but admire that person and marvel at the things that come out of their mouths.

Indeed, when you have a sense of humor, there is nothing more satisfying than the unmitigated glee that comes from making someone laugh; but, as any good comedian knows, for every good joke you make, there will be just as many (if not more) bad jokes to follow it, and if you are smart, you will make a mental note of these so as to never say them again.

When I strike out (I am still talking about jokes here), I follow my own advice and attempt to mentally drop the offending joke from my line up; however, despite what you may be thinking, I am not perfect, and some things have been known to slip through.

Today was a perfect example of this.

Being an avid Gap/Old Navy shopper, people often tell me that they too own whatever sweater/shirt/cod piece I might be wearing that day. Nothing too unusual; and a normal person would just smile at this news or make a knowing remark about how much they love it; but as you may have deciphered, I am not a normal person.

Subsequently, I usually end up saying:

“Gee, we should plan a day to both wear it, but then…how would they tell us apart?”

Inevitably, an uncomfortable pause ensues, followed by an awkward, pity-fueled laugh by the other person after I wink at them and say, “Get it?! You have blond hair, and I have dark hair, and you know, we look so different….”

Then I am left standing there, like a moron, working to once again recover from the echoing failure the is my “look-alike” joke.

Oh bad “look-alike joke,” why can’t I quit you?!

Working with Little Miss Westchester

Let's peek in on Little Miss Westchester and see how she is doing...


"Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." ( Jim Halpert, "The Office" )

Seriously people, if you don't watch "The Office" (BBC or NBC, makes no difference) you are missing out.

Weekend Update

While I would not say that this was the most relaxing of weekends, here are the highlights:

1. Dinner with Moody St. Clair and Security Steve at Crawdaddy’s.
2. Shopping with Darling Peterson on a brisk Saturday afternoon.
3. Attending a Marquette house party with "Coworker S."
4. Ignoring pleas from house party tweeners to compete in round of Flippy Cup, despite promise of "major rewards" (which I later learned would be Jello shots).
4. Meeting Wakefield, Darling Peterson, Keanu and Petal Personality at area favorite, Red Light in lieu of competing in championship round of Flippy Cup.

Now I am back at work, and feeling a little grumpy about it. Well, if nothing else, I am feeling really good about my new Strawberry scented Chap Stick. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

On another note, good friend Kate Smiley is on a Man Hunt, and she has asked that I ride shot gun. With our sparkling personalities and unabashed good-looks, we will make a pretty unstoppable team: so watch out boys!!!

Apocalypse Now: Milwaukee

I don't want to scare you, but it is snowing and thunderstorming in Milwaukee right now. Which means that it may very well be the end of the world.........

but if it's not, and you like Indie Rock like I do, then you should def. check out:

Head Automatica's "Beating Heart Baby"

It's a real toe-tapper.

Today I am feeling...

I am not sure if I am feeling crazy because I am bored or bored because I am crazy.

But I think the trouble began when one of Company X's tech guys snapped at me for saying "Microsoft Paint," RATHER than "Microsoft PRO." What was I thinking.

Somebody brighten my day, damnit.

Kooky Kathy crosses the line

I love listening to my coworkers bitch and moan about how they were somehow wronged by all of the other drivers on their morning commute. My position on this has always been that if their driving is anything like their office skills, then the other drivers were probably justified.

Not to be too negative on this fabulous Single’s Awareness Day; but, slow drivers are a pet peeve of mine-especially when they refuse to move out of the left lane when there is someone, i.e. ME, trying to pass them.

I have noticed, as of late, that the topic of bad driving comes up a lot in discussion; and from the ongoing debates over which city has the worst drivers to my mother's insistence that she is not the worst driver, it seems to be an issue on which everybody has an opinion. For example, last night as I was doing my stretches at the gym, Kooky Kathy somehow managed to transition from her usual ranting about her ongoing fight with the locker room towel attendants, into a lengthy monolog about her family’s trailer in northern Wisconsin.

From there she moved onto the subject of Wisconsin speed limits, which she cleverly used as a jumping off point into a detailed listing of her concerns over the proposed speed limit increase from 65 to 75 on the highway between Milwaukee and Madison. It when there that I realized that this was to be just another one of the many issues on which Kathy and I would not see eye to eye; however, unlike her assertion that she could get down to 160 pounds (from her current weight of 350) simply by attending a monthly water aerobics class and sticking to diet sodas rather than milkshakes, this was a topic I felt strongly about.

You see, while I am a firm believer that the left lane is for passing and speeding, Kathy takes a somewhat different stance on the issue. She maintains that the only way society can ensure complete traffic safety is through a "complex strategy" that requires all drivers over the age of 60 to adhere to speeds well under the designated limit, and always while in the left lane.

Kooky Kathy, you just crossed the line.

Raindrops on Roses....AMENDED

I would like to ad one other thing to this list:

6. My Seven Loyal Readers (I really appreciate anyone who checks in on this blog. While I do get some satisfaction from putting my thoughts out there, I would have stopped long ago had it not been for your support and encouragement. Thanks for sticking with me.)

Raindrops on Roses....

Here are a few of the things I am the most thankful for/excited about today:

1. Wonderful friends who come to visit me from Chicago (This weekend's visit from Jazzy A, F'n Early and Blue-eyed Girl was the perfect ending to an otherwise lackluster week. Thanks guys for braving the cold to spend some time with one of your number one fans.)

2. My Dad (While I am slightly biased, I think you would be hard-pressed to find a better dad in the whole wide world. In a world of Kevin Federline’s and O.J. Simpson’s, my dad has always been a role model of integrity and courage for my brothers and me; and, while he drops the occasional bad joke here and there, he has also been my comedic inspiration. Tomorrow he is taking me to lunch- a great reminder that Valentine’s Day is about celebrating all the people in our lives that we love. Whatta guy!)

3. Cape Cod (What can I say, I love the beach... and those delicious cranberry/blueberry scones I can only get there.)

4. The Office (This show ads a bright spot to even the cloudiest of weeks. It keeps me laughing, and reminds me that I am not the only one out there suffering through constant cubicell entrapment.)

5. Shaun White (I think Matthew McConaughey's Wooderson said it best with his statement: "I love them redheads!" (Dazed and Confused ).)

Unrelated, yet delightful!

On a completly unrelated note, I would really like to own these earrings.


They will be mine-oh yes, they will.

Why I love Mike Birbiglia

He may be funnier than I am, but I am better looking-and that is why we can co-exist.


(Click on the picture to see a sampling of his comedic genius)

Crush: more than just a delicious soda.

Speaking as an expert on the subject of the “unrequited crush,” I have noticed a pattern in my love life as of late, and I thought I would share it with you, my seven loyal readers.

Specifically, there seems to come a time during the natural progression of every one of my secret crushes when I come to the realization that the object of my affections is just “not that into me”; and, if I am lucky (and I am), this realization seems to always dawn on me around the major holidays or on my birthday.

Why is it I wonder, that my ability to objectively reason with myself is never as succinct as the times when there is a holiday approaching? Or that even the slightest promise of presents or merriment in the air can suddenly send a shock wave through my brain that is usually accompanied by a small metaphorical note reading, “It is time to move on.”

Anyway- I guess I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else.

Mid-week Mix Factory

Ok, I don't usually do this-because frankly, everyone's music tastes are different; but in case you were interested, here is the mix CD I would make if I had the time right now:

In no particular order:

Freddy Johnson, "Bad Reputation"
Ben Lee, "Cigarettes Will Kill You"
Matthew Jay, "Let Your Shoulder Fall"
Nada Surf, "Inside of Love"
Joseph Arthur, "In the Sun"
Damien Rice, "Cannonball"
Paloalto, "Sleeping Citizens"
Teitur, "Shade of a Shadow"
Ryan Adams, "So Alive"
Pete Yorn, "Sleep Beter"
Minibar, "Choked Up"
Duncan Sheik, "Half Life"
The Shins, "Gone for Good"
Rufus Wainwright, "Cigarettes and Chocolate"

***BTW, if you haven't heard of Joseph Arthur, but you do like any/all of the above artists, then you should really check him out.

Celebrity Match

Earlier today, Jazzy A sent methe link to this website which matches your picture to those of over 2,400 celebrities, and then tells you who you most closely resemble.

I HIGHLY recommend it.

Especially after it told me that my cartoon self looks like Laura Branigan! (It also told me that my cartoon self looks a little bit like Jerry Seinfeld as well-but it can't be right all the time, now can it.)

Hurray, flattery will get you everywhere MyHeritage.com!

Weekend Smackdown, I mean Update

Today I am feeling a little sleepy.

This could be because I drank every day for the part three days-or because I let an old man kiss me on Saturday (no one can say I don't make good on my gambling debts).

Here is the weekend update:

Friday night I hung out with Miss Hope Valentine, Darling Peterson, and Darling’s boyfriend Wakefield at Paddy’s, one of Milwaukee’s best Irish pubs. There we sat around and talked about girl stuff-well me, Hope and Darling talked, while Wakefield listened politely.

Saturday, after a quick (cough, 3 hour, cough) shopping trip to the mall, I raced home, prettied up, and rushed over to Peaches Wilson’s place where I was to act as her hetero-date for an evening at her curling club.

Besides having a true mind for business, Peaches is a member of one of Wisconsin’s finest curling clubs; and this weekend her club was hosting their annual men’s tournament followed by an evening of gambling/boozing hosted by the club’s female members; admittedly, I am not a member of the curling club, however, Peaches invited me to come, and I was more than happy to oblige.

The night started well with a (soberly awkward) dinner with the other ladies from the club. After dinner, one of the senior ladies made a quick announcement explaining that we had more ladies than tables and as a result, we would be dealing Blackjack in teams of three. Seeing as I have trouble counting past 10 (and have never played Blackjack before) I was thrilled to know that the pressure of dealing would not rest solely on my shoulders; even though Peaches assured me that no one took it seriously anyway. Well, no one that is, except for the third person randomly assigned to our team: Hildegard Snodgrass.

Peaches and me quietly planning our escape...

At the ripe old age of 40 (going on 70), Hildegard was a stern taskmaster with a thick upper lip and the air of a woman who had never felt the touch of man outside her immediate family. Despite our efforts to include her in the merrymaking, Hildegard was having none of it, and quickly took to scolding Peaches and I for giving away free chips and for telling the gamblers whether they should hit or stay. It was not long before most of the gamblers had sought fun at the other tables, and seeing that there was nothing Peaches and I could do to save the sinking ship that was our Blackjack table, we left Hildegard to her own devices and went off to mingle with the tournament’s other attendees.

By the time the clock struck midnight, we felt it to be in our best interests to leave. So, after saying our goodbyes and exchanging cell phone numbers with Hildegard (***blatant lie***) Peaches and I headed home.

On Sunday morning, after bumming around well into the afternoon, I met up with Hope, Darling, and Wakefield for a kick-ass Superbowl party at Wakefield’s friend’s place. Let’s just say Wakefield’s friend had one of the coolest condos I have ever seen-and after watching the game on a movie screen, I think I am ruined for all future Superbowls.

What a weekend.

Birthday Calculator

CLICK HERE to learn about why you are such a crazy bitch (ok, maybe I am just talking about me on that one, but I think you will like this too).

I need a drink...

I am frustrated, both professionally and personally. Who wants to buy me a drink?

G is for Grievances

There are a few things about the office that are bothering me right now. In no particular order they are as follows:

Grievance #1

The woman in my office who wears her pants so high up on her waist, that her breasts seem to be serving as a harness to hold them up. Whether or not she even wears a belt it a mystery, because if it is there, it is completly hidden beneath the folds of her back and her generous bosom. Known affectionatly as “Pants,” throughout the office, this fashion foible has somehow managed to defy the laws of gravity and reason in a single bound. Jiminy.



Grievance #2

The unidentified person who keeps wiping their boogers on the walls inside ladies bathroom stall #3. I mean really, that stall is so compact, and always with a fully stocked toilet paper dispenser. A person would not even need to lift their arm to get a tissue; yet to this mysterious booger bandit, that's just not good enough. I have a feeling that whoever is responsible for this is probably some sort of an evil genius-either that, or they have picked away the last fully-functioning parts of their brain, and this is their way of calling for help.

Grievance #3

I am hungry, but forgot to pack my self an afternoon snack.

I guess there's always that bathroom stall...